Spots are an attractive feature on a dog.
A dog is better protection from intruders.
Dogs greet each other by sniffing bottoms. Men are far less polite.
Puppy love doesn’t wear off so quickly with a dog.
You can be prosecuted for neglecting a dog.
Dogs can find their way back home - even after a really heavy night out.
Dogs can be trained not to lie on the bed. Men always lie in bed.
A dog can moult without becoming obsessed about premature baldness.
Dogs can be taught the meaning of the word “NO!”
A dog is far less irritation to have in the back seat of a car…
…and will be less likely to show its rear end to the people in the vehicle behind for a laugh.
Dogs will wait patiently outside clothes shops…
…and not criticize your purchases afterwards.
A dog will fetch the morning paper for you.
Dogs don’t break wind in public and blame it on the man.
In the canine world, boxers are quite intelligent.
You can also ask the vet to perform the snip, even if the dog objects.
You can find a nice dog by advertising on a card in a shop window, or in the classified section of the local paper.
A woman can live with more than one dog, without rumours starting.
When dogs beg, it’s cute. When men beg it’s pathetic.
Dogs sometimes dig the garden.
A dog can go out fox-hunting without being incredibly stuck up and pompous.
Dogs don’t necessarily prefer blondes.
Dogs won’t get embarrassed if you call them by a pet name when their friends are around.
Dogs whine less.
Some dogs can be quite talented at singing.
You can leave a dog alone in your house without worrying so much about what it’ll break.
A dog gets a new coat every winter.
Dogs are not so careless about leaving puddles on the bathroom floor.
A dog is less likely to leave a filthy, stinking mess for you to clear up.
For a dog, a wet nose is a sign of GOOD health.
Men are even less useful for testing cosmetics on.
Dogs don’t wolf-whistle.
There are still thousands of totally undomesticated dogs in Australia; but far more undomesticated men.
Your dog will never refer to you as ‘a bitch’.
Dogs do not waste money betting on the dogs.
You can stop dogs getting too randy by throwing a bucket or water over them.
If a dog starts worrying sheep, that’s just its natural predatory instinct.
If a MAN starts worrying sheep, however…
You can also call a dog schitzu without offending it.
“Working like a dog” is strenuous. Working like a man is, er - not.
You can fondle your dog in the park without being arrested.
Dogs do not attack other dogs for being a different colour.
Having a dog around the place can actually ease stress.
You’d feel guilty about turning a dog out on the street.
A dog can take a barrel of brandy to a lost mountaineer without drinking ANY.
There aren’t so many good reasons to keep a dog muzzled in public.
You can buy a dog’s affection with a squeaky toy.
A dog will be eager to walk, rather than getting a taxi.
Most dogs are really good with children.
A dog is more useful for tracking down criminals.
There’s more chance of your dog being able to operate the video recorder.
You can buy a choke-chain for a dog.
A 16-year-old dog is very mature.
A dog is easier to keep well-groomed.
Dogs have more chance of receiving an award for bravery.
Dogs are easier to house-train.
Dog do not scratch themselves so much in polite company.
A dog can look as though it understands what you’re saying.
A man will roll over and play dead only if you ask him to get up and make coffee.
Dogs enjoy swimming, and not for the chance to ogle girls in bikinis.
Being a dog’s mistress is no reason to feel ashamed.
You can keep your dog tied up if it starts misbehaving.
You can train a dog in obedience.
A dog in a studded collar isn’t kinky.
A dog is a pack animal. A man is a six-pack animal.
Dogs spend the day sniffing drugs only if they’re with the police.
Dogs aren’t obsessed with ‘doing it man-fashion’.
A dog is a faithful companion.
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Posted: December 25th, 2007 under Humor.
Tags: Dog Jokes, Funny, Women
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